Re-Reading "The Gift of Fear"

Well, I suppose this is my first non-family post, but it's about family safety --- something increasingly on my mind as my kids are rapidly approaching "school age"....

A tiny bit of background: Our R.S. book club read "The Shack" a couple months ago. I didn't get to go to the discussion, but did read the book. The core tragedy in the main character's life is the abduction of his little girl. The book is about him supposedly meeting with God and learning to have faith/forgive, etc. (I didn't really like the book, to be honest; the author's version of spirituality has little in common with my beliefs and feelings, especially since he is very anti-church/organized religion.)

Reading that, however, reminded me of a couple books I read quite a few years ago: "The Gift of Fear" and "Protecting the Gift", both by Gavin de Becker. The tagline for the first of these books is:

"True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?"

Basically, the author makes the case that your intuition is a lot more reliable than you think; if you feel uneasy around someone, chances are that your subconcious is picking up on very real clues to a potential danger. His books both go through a lot of ways to assess risk (deciding if threatening behavior is likely to escalate, etc), but he explains that all this information is just to give your subconcious more to work with so that you are more likely to notice a threat, and, most important, so that you don't brush off your own fears. If you are informed and confident in your own intuition/fear, you don't need to worry or be constantly afraid.... (He makes it clear that the "fear" he is talking about is your "gut reaction", not just worrying about stuff in general.)

Anyway, the first book, "The Gift of Fear", is about risk assesment and such in general and as applied to stranger-on-stranger attacks, domestic violence, workplace violence, and stalkers (of celebrities or exes).

The second book, "Protecting the Gift", is specifically targeted on keeping your kids and teens safe and on teaching them to keep themselves safe. (For example, teaching children to ask a woman for help, rather than just "look for a policeman" since kids can't tell a real cop from a predator with a toy badge...)

Both books are interesting and very thought-provoking, to say the least! I am actually ordering the second one - it has really good info for parents, including sample questions to ask about your kids school(s), potential babysitters, and so on.

Now, this guy is a genuine expert and all - he has lots and lots of experience and data to back up him up when he tells us to listen to our instincts.... However, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I personally believe that in addition to our "subconcious mind", we are warned/protected by spiritual means as well. A lot of the concepts he talks about in relation to acting on intution, such as it is more important to be safe than to be polite, could/can really apply to listening to the Holy Ghost, too! Perhaps that is why his ideas seem to me to have particular merit....

Well, I could go on an get really philosophical about all this, but I shall spare you all! I do, however, recommend these books - particularly the one directed at parents!

(BTW, I am seriously thinking of recommending the second book to our Relief Society book club - anyone have thoughts on this?)

Daddy is Oooollllddd!

Matt's Birthday was this week... I won't say how old he is, but his parents sent him this giant cookie...

He had to travel for work this week, so we celebrated last Saturday. (Many thanks to Jen's Aunt Jana for last-minute babysitting!)

The kids "helped" me make a cake on Friday, and I hid it in the oven (off, of course!) and crossed my fingers Matt wouldn't be seized with some sudden urge to broil something... Saturday we surprised him with the cake and a couple of presents... The kids gave him a "nerf" dart gun, I gave him a really neat book he wanted. The kids were lots of help -trying out the gun for him and helping blow out the candles....

Esther, of course, was the biggest party animal... well, maybe just the cutest...

Yippe! Yipee! Natalie is Finally Three!

Well, we not only survived but enjoyed Natalie's action-packed third birthday... Of course, I use the term action-packed rather loosely --- based on the age of the participants it was plenty of excitement for one day!

We started off the day by having my aunt, Jana, and our cousins, Melinda and Evie (3 yrs) and Lizzie (10months) over for breakfast. (Aunt Jana and Evie are two of Natalie's favorite people.) The tots snarfed down a pile of muffins and some toast and ran around a bit before we called them back in to unwrap presents. Evie just had her third birthday a couple weeks ago, so she was a little confused and rather disappointed that none of the presents were for her (and Natalie was reluctant to share at first). Poor Evie! Being a toddler is tough!

We sang, of course, and let Natalie blow out candles on her birthday cake, but we only let the kids have one little cupcake (flower) each, assuring them we'd dig in to the big cake that evening. We had some cupcakes set aside to send home with our guests, too, of course.

After the kids played with the toys a while, we packed up and headed off to play at Betty Brinn Children's Museum. Our guests came, too, and Melinda actually snapped more pictures than I did (since I had an armful of Esther a lot of the time). You can see some on her blog: http://1lil2lilgirls.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-birthday-cousin-natalieat.html

Most of the photos I got were badly blurred - apparently the camera I'm using these days has almost no tolerance for motion; but here are a few that turned out:

We spent a couple hours at the museum before everyone went their separate ways. By the time I got the kids home, Natalie was pretty much asleep in the car and Emily (4 1/2) started crying and said she didn't want lunch, only a nap!!! Those poor kids dropped like rocks! (heh heh heh)

Well, they bounced back by evening and we went to McDonalds for a fun dinner. Natalie wanted to take her new (toy) doggie, but we convinced her that would be a bad idea... We suggested she take her ballons and some of the cupcakes, instead.

Anyway, quite a busy day for us! But, I think it was pretty successful: Nat loved her presents, got to eat food she actually likes, and got to "play" with some of her favorite people; And all of use enjoyed the activites --- and the abundance of cake!

Cake Time!

Ok, I confess, I am fairly pleased with myself about how Nat's Birthday Cake turned out... Or, at least I like the flowers! (The caterpillar is a bit pathetic.)

The flower cupcakes were really fun, and best of all, really easy to make. The centers are sweet-tarts (smarties or whatever would work) and the petals are mini marshmallows cut in half (and pinched a little). We made extra cupcakes to share with friends. The kids were even able to help --- I let them eat their own creations, though, on account of contamination issues....

I found the flower technique on: http://www.cupcake-creations.com/

Party - Party

Well, we had a lot of fun this weekend --- 2 birthday parties to attend!

First, Mike and Em were invited to a party for one of their friends from church, Nathan. His parents arranged for the kids to tour a local police department, and then everyone went back to their house for cake and presents and such...

The kids had a lot of fun - Thanks for inviting us, Nathan!

Later, in the afternoon, we went out to Aunt Jana's for our cousin Evie's 3rd birthday. The kids had fun sleddingand watching the Daddys fire off some model rockets (but I was inside with baby so photos are courtesy of Evie's mom, Melinda). When the kids were thouroughly soggy (on account of it being 50 degrees out!) everyone gathered inside for cake, ice cream, and presents.

Again, much fun was had by all! Thanks for inviting us, Evie! You make a lovely little Princess!