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We often refer friends to our post(s) on our experiences with Ben's Tuberous Sclerosis Complex, as of yet these are:
--- Our introduction to this disease and basic timeline February 2012 through July 26, 2013.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Re-Reading "The Gift of Fear"

Well, I suppose this is my first non-family post, but it's about family safety --- something increasingly on my mind as my kids are rapidly approaching "school age"....

A tiny bit of background: Our R.S. book club read "The Shack" a couple months ago. I didn't get to go to the discussion, but did read the book. The core tragedy in the main character's life is the abduction of his little girl. The book is about him supposedly meeting with God and learning to have faith/forgive, etc. (I didn't really like the book, to be honest; the author's version of spirituality has little in common with my beliefs and feelings, especially since he is very anti-church/organized religion.)

Reading that, however, reminded me of a couple books I read quite a few years ago: "The Gift of Fear" and "Protecting the Gift", both by Gavin de Becker. The tagline for the first of these books is:

"True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?"

Basically, the author makes the case that your intuition is a lot more reliable than you think; if you feel uneasy around someone, chances are that your subconcious is picking up on very real clues to a potential danger. His books both go through a lot of ways to assess risk (deciding if threatening behavior is likely to escalate, etc), but he explains that all this information is just to give your subconcious more to work with so that you are more likely to notice a threat, and, most important, so that you don't brush off your own fears. If you are informed and confident in your own intuition/fear, you don't need to worry or be constantly afraid.... (He makes it clear that the "fear" he is talking about is your "gut reaction", not just worrying about stuff in general.)

Anyway, the first book, "The Gift of Fear", is about risk assesment and such in general and as applied to stranger-on-stranger attacks, domestic violence, workplace violence, and stalkers (of celebrities or exes).

The second book, "Protecting the Gift", is specifically targeted on keeping your kids and teens safe and on teaching them to keep themselves safe. (For example, teaching children to ask a woman for help, rather than just "look for a policeman" since kids can't tell a real cop from a predator with a toy badge...)

Both books are interesting and very thought-provoking, to say the least! I am actually ordering the second one - it has really good info for parents, including sample questions to ask about your kids school(s), potential babysitters, and so on.

Now, this guy is a genuine expert and all - he has lots and lots of experience and data to back up him up when he tells us to listen to our instincts.... However, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I personally believe that in addition to our "subconcious mind", we are warned/protected by spiritual means as well. A lot of the concepts he talks about in relation to acting on intution, such as it is more important to be safe than to be polite, could/can really apply to listening to the Holy Ghost, too! Perhaps that is why his ideas seem to me to have particular merit....

Well, I could go on an get really philosophical about all this, but I shall spare you all! I do, however, recommend these books - particularly the one directed at parents!

(BTW, I am seriously thinking of recommending the second book to our Relief Society book club - anyone have thoughts on this?)

2 comments:

Lewis Family said...

Do it Jen (I mean recoomend the second book). I totally forgot about these books, and I'm going to suggest this to our book club for sure. I'm so glad you reminded me of these books!

Melinda said...

I want to read it, so please pass them on to me when you're done. I'm really interested in it, having grown up with 'safety kids' and such...sounds like along the same lines.